Stories Stories Stories!

Oh man it's been an exciting week!

Ok, so there's been a big problem with my roommate--cock nuggets--turning on the AC no matter what temperature it was outside. So if it's 55 degrees, he still turns on the AC at 65. This alone is ridiculous, but think about how freaking cold 65 degrees is! Also, keep in mind he hasn't paid electricity in 2 months, so he doesn't give a shit about how much that temperature is going to cost in bills.

So yeah, its been me against him, mano e mano. He turns on the AC at night, I wait 3 minutes and turn it off. He turns it down, I turn it back up. You get the idea. I come home last night, and there is a sign posted above the thermostat. It was written by my other roommate, cookie tits. The note:

"WHOEVER TURNED ON THE HEAT IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER [editor's note: yes summer starts in May here] TO 82 DEGREES, DO IT AGAIN AND YOU NO LONGER CAN STAY HERE! ONLY NEIL IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT FROM NOW ON! IF YOU PAID ELECTRICITY, PERHAPS YOU COULD TOUCH IT. BUT SINCE YOU DON'T, GO TO HELL."

An hour later, there is a new note from cock nuggets:

"Maybe if it wasn't 90 degrees in my room I would pay rent and bills!"

Well...that's not logical. Of course I had to chime in.

"Wait...that's an option? If we aren't comfortable we don't have to pay? By that logic shouldn't you have paid as soon as you turned it down to 65 degrees? What about in February and March when you were comfortable? Why didn't you pay then? Is there anything else we can do to make you more comfortable, besides the free rent, free bills, and the food you steal?"

Cookie tits came home and of course saw what cock nuggets had wrote and, long story short, he was gone when I came home today.

But the story doesn't end there.

Sine it's hard to move everything you have in a few hours, Cookie Tits agreed that Cock Nuggets could keep his big stuff here until a truck could come to grab it. Well, wouldn't you know it a truck pulls up just a few minutes ago. However cock nuggets wasn't in it. Instead a guy comes to the door and says that cock nuggets owes him a lot of money and...while this may be weird...could I grab some of his stuff as repayment?

Well this was exactly how Michael has been (unknowingly) paying me back for the food of mine he steals. So who was I to stop this, I assume, upstanding gentlemen from taking his just payments? Why, I'll even help him look for the valuable stuff?

Turns out he keeps his stash of pot under his mattress. Who knew? Also who knew that his entire stash would be more than enough as a repayment for the money he owed to this guy?

I feel I made the world a better place today.