Bucket List

It's been forming in my head for awhile. I don't want to develop brain crack, so here you go:

1. The obligatory one. Ask me if you don't understand. I'm trying to keep this one SFW.

2. Ride in a blimp!

3. Visit Petra.

4. Be published. For something someone would actually read.

5. Design my own home. Have a composting toilet. in it. Not one of the ones on the market though. I want one that uses compressed air (generated from windmills) to shoot the waste through piping to a composting machine 500 yards from my house, conveniently located next to my garden.
NO!! Even better! One that packages the waste into rockets. Once a day a rocket is blasted from the roof of my house to a field 1/4 a mile away, where it explodes over a composting field. How fucking cool would that be?

6. Successfully form a secret society. Control a government. Not necessarily the government. Any government will do, even if its just a small town. Scotch will be involved in the ceremonies.

7. Fight an insurrection. I'm not unpatriotic, I'll go to a different country to help out. Kind of like Hemingway in Spain only, you know, not.

8. Live carbon free. This is a slow process, but I'm getting there. My gas consumption is down to about $25 - $30 a month, less hot water is being used in my home (by me anyway--my roommates like to run the AC at 74 degrees with the door open), and I'm working towards helping the city reduce it's carbon foot print. If my plan works out, I'll be a shoo-in for grad schools nationwide...It probably won't work, but a guy can dream.

9. Hike across Ireland, Scotland, the Appalachian Trail, or New Zealand.

10. Start a nonprofit agency.

11. Be buried directly in the ground with no casket. I don't like the idea of my body just staying there, somewhat preserved, for centuries on end. I don't really dislike it--it's just a body. Donate it to a necrophiliac group for all I care, at least some use will be gotten out of it. My point is that its wasteful to preserve bodies. Put me directly in the ground, dump some soil on me, and plant a fruit tree on top. I want my Great Grandchildren to talk about how good Grandpa Neil's apple pie is, without realizing the irony of Grandpa Neil being IN the apple pie, in a matter of speaking. The body farm is a good alternative too.

When you think about it, wouldn't it be cool if more famous Americans donated their bodies to the body farm? Think about the headlines:

"Gerald Ford, dead at 93. He served his country honorably. And because of him we now know how flesh decays while being submerged in peat moss."