Dot Dot Dot

Headline: Legislators Vote to Impeach Blagojevich
The House voted 114-1 to impeach Blagojevich a day after a special committee unanimously recommended impeachment following hearings on a variety of allegations, including federal corruption charges that led to his arrest last month.

Excuse me but...

WHO THE FUCK IS THE ONE WHO DIDN'T?! "You know what? Fuck you guys! I like Blago and he's sticking around!"

Little Gidding

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make and end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from...
Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning,
Every poem an epitaph. And any action
Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat
Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start.

-T.S. Elliot "Four Quartets"

I completed my New Years Resolution on January 2nd, and it was a monumental shift in my self.

Most Americans, and indeed most citizens of Western Society, have made a string of some (probably) hefty New Years Resolutions designed to make you closer to that person you want to be, or if you are honest the person you already view in the mirror. Losing weight, being a nicer person, being more honest, eating right, quitting smoking, taking more photographs, these are all noble pursuits which, if accomplished will perhaps make you a better person. Except how often are these resolutions ever successful? How many times have made the same resolution January 1st after January 1st?

The problem lies not in our grandiose desires; indeed, the urge of man to improve his self is one of our greatest attributes. The problem lies in our own short sightedness and cowardice.

A body, a self, a constructed reality contains much momentum. This momentum, like its corporeal counterpart, does not change directions easily, but that is exactly what we attempt to do. We want our reality, which we have conducted over decades and decades, to swerve directions with just a slight push from our will. As happy as this wish may be, it will never occur. Our existential mass is too great. Instead we are left with two options.

With great foresight and planning, one can plot out those little changes--a tweak here, a nudge there--that will change our momentum from where we are heading to a new destination. It is difficult, and perhaps can not be accomplished through a simple resolution made while high on carbonated wine, but it is possible.

The other option is to identify a weakness in yourself that you can exploit. That one weak link, that one thread which is, unknowingly, is holding everything together--and snip it. That's all it takes. If you don't like who you are, destroy it and build anew. You won't know what the results will be, but you know it will be different. And if anything different is better than what you have now, what is holding you back?

I made that attempt, and the results won't be seen for possibly years. But I know January 2nd changed things forever.

Life is never lived in a Goldfish Bowl

Why do people like the over stretched, worn out, used up romance movie? This has been bugging me for awhile, because it seems like everyone without exception likes at least one of these. They may call it their "dirty little secret" but that doesn't excuse the fact that they do, in fact, love to watch the lonely yet caring man who always seems to be ready to give out love but hasn't found the right receptor meet the quirky, yet oh so slightly troubled 30-something woman (she probably owns a bookstore or writes, or something slightly elitist yet still accessible) who has always been the bridesmaid but never the bride. We don't see the rest of their relationship, but we know we know that they really have found "true love"--which in our book means two souls so perfectly complementing that as long as they are together life will never come between them. Why do we like this? I'm not criticizing those who do--I watch When Harry Met Sally as much as the next guy (which is a lot, even if they don't admit it. They at least watch something very similar.). I've just been trying to find out what attracts us to that particular scenario.

I wish I had an answer, but I do not know the universal soul of the western human to understand well enough why we have an instinct to respond to fantasy masquerading as reality. I do know, however, that it truly is fantasy.

Perhaps one reason is that we do always identify with one of the characters. If you don't think this is so, watch one of these movies with a group of women who have had a few glasses of wine each. You won't be able to hear the movie, but that's fine. Just listen to the cries of "That's just like me/you/her/your mother/your mother-in-law/Margaret Thatcher." The problem is, even if we do identify with the characters, and the universal problems they find themselves in, the solutions presented are never valid except in the world where responses are scripted, and the two lovers have no real interest in each other once the celluloid ends.

The dialogue is always perfect. The witticisms are just biting enough to be funny, but just tender enough to know there is love behind the words. The timing is always at a zenith--just after there has been enough strain to make us feel that the scenario represents true life, but not long enough to make us feel uncomfortable that perhaps it won't be resolved. And the words chosen are always heart melting, adorable, honest (yes), and completely and utterly useless.

In real life ideas like courage, uncertainty, self-doubt, cowardice get in the way. You know, you know, what you want to say. That every person in the last 3 years has been a lie, and a way to forget. That nothing has changed but geography, and really how important is that? That the weight of your decisions has been so unbearable as to make you morally and spiritually broken. That you are sorry and always have been. But the fear that saying the right words won't fix your problems is enough to mute you. You know you can continue to operate how you have been. To take the chance and fail would mean more than one person could handle. Instead it is much safer to swallow harder, and feel that unfortunately familiar drop of molten lead hit your stomach, where it will burn for at least a week despite your best efforts to quite literally extinguish it. Eventually it will cool, and that particular weight will pass. These circumstances, these internal struggles, those never enter into the celluloid world. All the quirky details a director includes to bring two characters to life never include their abject trappings. That would turn the happiest movie into a drama that too closely resembles life. While artistically it would be of great merit, who would want to watch that?

Amazing song:

Avett Brothers - Shame

Blech, everyone's allowed an emo post once in awhile, right?

Pick a category, any category

As it turns out, Bristol Palin may be having her baby on Christmas. Can you taste it? That's palpable excitement my friend. It tastes like parmesan and broccoli. Even more exciting? What the hell is she naming the baby. My guesses:

Transport
-Auto
-Train
-Trolley
-Bike
-Shoe
-GPS

Food
-Soda
-Carrot
-Chestnut

Entertainment
-Film
-Rugby

Other:
-Futon
-Mantle
-Sofa
-Lamp

Numbers:
-Seven
-Eight
-Twelve
-Thirty

Drugs:
-Claritin
-Dayquill

Other:
-Tide
-Lanolin

New Idea, Same as the Old Idea

From NBC's Mark Murray
"Saul Anuzis, the Michigan GOP chair who's running for chairman of the Republican National Committee, has issued a 24-page "Blueprint for a GOP Comeback" to RNC members that details his agenda and vision for returning the party to political power.

In the document, Anuzis envisions the party being a "grassroots-up relationship of equals," not a DC-down "paternalistic relationship; advocates for a "50-state strategy" to appeal to voters in the Northeast, Midwest, and West as well it does in the South; stresses that the party do a better job of reaching out to Latino and black voters; contends that the GOP begin harnessing the latest advancements in technology to advance its message; and argues that it search for ways to better compete against the Democrats financially."

So just to be clear, your new plan is "Let's do what Obama did" right? I don't blame you on this, because obviously it worked, but couldn't you at least come up with something original to add? I don't know, like "disenfranchise the gays" or "invade Iran" or whatever it is you guys like to do. If you are going to say you created a plan for victory, include something that is of your own invention, please.

So, apparently...

So there I was, knee deep.

It was 1 am on a Saturday morning, and I had just gotten in from a graduation dinner. I was going through my box-o-junk, you know that box that you have under your bed containing all those knick knacks that you only need once a year, looking for I-don't-what. What I found, however, was my creme brulee torch (don't judge me, I don't judge you). Sitting next to that was an aerosol bottle of body spray, because sometimes you like smelling like you are 14. If you are a woman reading this post, I'm guessing you haven't connected the two yet. If you are a guy, you've automatically thought "Flame thrower!!" Yes, that's what went through my head too.

The thing about this particular aerosol, is that it's sprayer was a bit defective, so instead of a fast single stream, it would sputter, creating flame clouds! It was awesome! And it scared the hell out of my roommates yappy dog! So why would I stop, right?

So, apparently, my smoke alarm responds to flames as well as smoke. Five minutes into feeling like a mighty God of hell and fire, this annoying, persistent beep killed off all of my fun, and the damn thing wouldn't stop despite the fact I had quit creating clouds of flame (or at least took it to the bathroom).

So, apparently, my smoke detector is wired to all the other detectors in my house, as I discovered when I moved my fire abilities to the lavatoire.

So, apparently, all the smoke detectors in my apartment are connected to all the other smoke detectors in the duplex. Something about collective safety or something like that. I figured this out when I hear people evacuating outside.

What do I do? Well, as many of you know, I'm sly like a fox. I take off my pants and shirt, throw on a bathrobe, mess up my hair, and walk outside rubbing my eyes, joining in with the chorus of "Who the hell is setting off smoke detectors at 1 am!?"

Prop. 8 Update

The Classy Quote of the Day:

...there is a real, unbroken line between the jihadist savagery in Mumbai and the hedonistic, irresponsible, blindly selfish goals and tactics of our homegrown sexual jihadists.
-- Pat Boone, December 6, 2008




Wait. Hold on.
Ok, I'm used to some pretty outrageous claims, especially from the Republican Homophobic crowd. Whether its claiming cartoon characters are mascots for gays, to asserting that 9/11 happened because of gays (and feminists, liberals, etcetera--the Commie Pinko Fags or CPFs), but this quote...really?

Groups of concerned citizens who have created entirely peaceful demonstrations against a law they consider unjust, and have tried to lobby--mostly ineffectually--their democratically elected representatives are equivalent to people who indiscriminately kill men, women, and children.

And I realize the vast, vast majority of Americans, both liberal and conservative, do not believe the agents of intolerance like Pat Boone, but the fact that he has somehow become a political force (campaigning heavily for John McCain), and does have ardent followers means that there are more than a few people out there who are so terrified of two men or women making love, that in their mind it is the equivalent to butchering children. And these people believe they are morally correct! That's the worst part! You know at least the racists and drug dealers and other lowlifes generally know that what they do is probably not right--they embrace it, but they know. These assholes believe their view is the morally correct one, one that every citizen should embrace, and generally one that is not just moral, but righteous.

40 more days of this shit and these people and their leaders are out of office.