Life is never lived in a Goldfish Bowl

Why do people like the over stretched, worn out, used up romance movie? This has been bugging me for awhile, because it seems like everyone without exception likes at least one of these. They may call it their "dirty little secret" but that doesn't excuse the fact that they do, in fact, love to watch the lonely yet caring man who always seems to be ready to give out love but hasn't found the right receptor meet the quirky, yet oh so slightly troubled 30-something woman (she probably owns a bookstore or writes, or something slightly elitist yet still accessible) who has always been the bridesmaid but never the bride. We don't see the rest of their relationship, but we know we know that they really have found "true love"--which in our book means two souls so perfectly complementing that as long as they are together life will never come between them. Why do we like this? I'm not criticizing those who do--I watch When Harry Met Sally as much as the next guy (which is a lot, even if they don't admit it. They at least watch something very similar.). I've just been trying to find out what attracts us to that particular scenario.

I wish I had an answer, but I do not know the universal soul of the western human to understand well enough why we have an instinct to respond to fantasy masquerading as reality. I do know, however, that it truly is fantasy.

Perhaps one reason is that we do always identify with one of the characters. If you don't think this is so, watch one of these movies with a group of women who have had a few glasses of wine each. You won't be able to hear the movie, but that's fine. Just listen to the cries of "That's just like me/you/her/your mother/your mother-in-law/Margaret Thatcher." The problem is, even if we do identify with the characters, and the universal problems they find themselves in, the solutions presented are never valid except in the world where responses are scripted, and the two lovers have no real interest in each other once the celluloid ends.

The dialogue is always perfect. The witticisms are just biting enough to be funny, but just tender enough to know there is love behind the words. The timing is always at a zenith--just after there has been enough strain to make us feel that the scenario represents true life, but not long enough to make us feel uncomfortable that perhaps it won't be resolved. And the words chosen are always heart melting, adorable, honest (yes), and completely and utterly useless.

In real life ideas like courage, uncertainty, self-doubt, cowardice get in the way. You know, you know, what you want to say. That every person in the last 3 years has been a lie, and a way to forget. That nothing has changed but geography, and really how important is that? That the weight of your decisions has been so unbearable as to make you morally and spiritually broken. That you are sorry and always have been. But the fear that saying the right words won't fix your problems is enough to mute you. You know you can continue to operate how you have been. To take the chance and fail would mean more than one person could handle. Instead it is much safer to swallow harder, and feel that unfortunately familiar drop of molten lead hit your stomach, where it will burn for at least a week despite your best efforts to quite literally extinguish it. Eventually it will cool, and that particular weight will pass. These circumstances, these internal struggles, those never enter into the celluloid world. All the quirky details a director includes to bring two characters to life never include their abject trappings. That would turn the happiest movie into a drama that too closely resembles life. While artistically it would be of great merit, who would want to watch that?

Amazing song:

Avett Brothers - Shame

Blech, everyone's allowed an emo post once in awhile, right?