Bitches.

Everyone knows that most women are vindictive, petty--yet cunningly smart--animals that need to be conquered like a wild horse. That said, some have shown a remarkable talent for tenderness once an overdeveloped zygote shoots out of their womb. This dichotomy of nurture/hatred has always piqued my curiosity, and was brought to the forefront of my 10% larger brain by a conversation recently.

I was in a car with 4 women, and as always was keeping quiet and minding my own business; I was simply listening in on the conversation. They were talking about the best breakup songs. Now I don't necessarily have a breakup song. Usually each song is tailored to the breakup. For an emotionally draining one, perhaps I will listen to Beck's Lost Cause. For one that gives me relief, any Tom Petty will do. Probably one that always rings true, and perhaps comes closest to a perennial breakup song is Oasis's (yes that is correct grammar you fucks) "Don't Look Back in Anger." The songs these women were listen to, however, spanned from almost anything by Alanis Morissette, to that one by Carrie Underwood that made me turn off the radio all last summer (something about keying his car?). [Editor's Note: These song choices were honest, and not some attempt at portraying a cliche. I am above such moves.] Why such anger? Is it because they have not experienced fulfillment by procreation? Or are they naturally like this?

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