2 weeks until my visit to Indiana, and the stars are aligning. Why do I say this? Simple.
Yesterday I was up at 8 am. That's 'sleeping in' for me now. Sad, right? Anyway, I turn on the food network, as I am oft to do, and what is on, but this!
Ok, so a good way to start the day, right? Next stop, the farmers market, which started again this weekend. Because this was the first day of the year for the market, it was PACKED. Everything I needed or wanted was sold out. What's a guy to do, but go to a used bookstore and make the most of the day. Out on the sidewalk they had tables set up with $1 books.
And I found a first edition Penrod and Sam, by Booth Tarkington. Who's Booth Tarkington, you are asking? Only the second coolest author to have a Residence Hall named after him at Purdue University! That is--this one. Who is the coolest author to have a Residence Hall named after him at Purdue, you may be asking? Robert Owen of course, for 3 reasons.
1. He termed the coin 'Dinosaur.' (I think.)
2. His dad was Robert Owen, certified badass.
3. He himself was a certified badass, as evident from his statue at Purdue. A picture of which, I can't find.
It's Easter today. No church for me, but I am going used book shopping. That counts as some sort of worship, right?
One more thing, regarding the video of the Triple XXX. Was it just me, or was the owner the worst story teller ever on TV? Surely you had some time to prepare. Hell, make up some stories, ask the customers. I sure as hell could tell you a much better story about Triple XXX.
What's that? You want to hear it?
OK.
So there I was, knee deep.
It was freshman year, and Levi, myself, and my roommate had just gone to some sort of comedy show. We decided to hit up the Triple XXX. This was before my roommate stopped bathing, so I didn't mind spending time with him.
It's about 1 am, and we had just ordered. These two drunk, older middle aged men (50 - 60) came in with their sober wives. They sat right across from me and struck up some conversation. One of them, Dave (?) struck up a conversation with everyone there. The other one, however, just stared at me. Not for a short time--no, his eyes never left me. Even his wife noticed and tried to get him to stop. No go. After about 10 uncomfortable minutes, during which I tried to ignore him, he finally yelled at me "Your parents hate you!"
Wife: "Now George, stop that!"
George: "Get that fucking thing out of your eye!"--It should be noted here that I had an eyebrow ring at the time.
I said something along the lines of my parents don't give a shit.
George: Bullshit they don't! Get that shit out of your eye or I'm going to rip it out of there for you!
By this time the restaurant was pretty quiet. Or at least as quiet as the Triple XXX gets.
He then proceeded to explain how my parents hate my eyebrow ring, and until I remove it I'll be a disgrace in their eyes.
Me: So do you have a tattoo?
George's wife: OOOH!! He's got you there!!
George: That's fucking different! My tattoo means something to me! Get that shit out of your eye right now!
He started to get up out of his chair, at which point Dave--who had been schmoozing with the customers the whole time, came over and calmed him down. It turns out the 2 couples were celebrating because Dave's wife, who had Leukemia, had just gotten her latest round of test results back. She was leukemia free. Because of her meds though, she still wasn't able to drink.
Dave bought me, then everyone in the restaurant dinner. And George, while continuing to stare at me, finally gave up his threats of 'ripping that shit out of your eye.' I avoided him on my way out, however.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Short bursts of updates
I'm working on a longish (for a blog, anyway) essay on my generation's tendency to sublimate academic rigor into passionate reactionary tendencies. My ability to do this is being directly blocked by the internet and my need to eat meals. Until I can finish it, I thought I'd post some quick life updates.
The last few weeks have been crazy busy!
The Monday before St. Patrick's day saw my old SR, Kathleen, visiting Charleston with her little sister. We hit the town and I wasn't back in bed until 4 am. It had been a long, long time since I've done something like that. The next morning I had a meeting at 7 am. Yup, 2 hours of sleep. Also, Laila (!) came to visit that next day! She was driving to Myrtle Beach for her spring break from NASA. I got one day of peace after that, but then she stopped by on her way back in. Needless to say I was more than a bit tired, but sleep was not to be had.
Two days later I drove down to southern Georgia to visit my parents on their vacation. They came to Charleston just a few days later and wined and dined me. I finally got to try some of the culinary fare that makes Charleston the greatest American culinary destination, bar none. I've dined in most major American cities, and most of the major western countries. I've experienced escargot in Paris, and Nathan's Franks in NYC. This was the best. I can also now say I've dined in the same restaurant as George Washington once dined. It goes along with my goal of participating in the action for which an historical building was constructed. This is not often possible, but fortunately Charleston is quite an open city for this type of experience. Usually this means worshiping in historic churches, so a restaurant was a nice change of pace.
The last day my parents were here, Brandon and Amber came for a long weekend. I wish the weather was a bit better for their experience, but I'm glad they came nonetheless.
Friday we hit the town, saw an impromptu fashion show, hit all my favorite bars, and then ended up in a strip club at 3 am. I don't remember much at all of the club. I do remember their toilets were surprisingly clean. This is good when you have to hug one for an extended period of time.
Somehow I was the one too drunk to function, but Amber was the person too hungover to do anything the next day.
We saw I Love You, Man. Typical comedy, but Paul Rudd's performance is remarkable. You don't expect much dedication towards craft in a comedy like that, but...really he did a good job. It was also inte
resting that the comedy avoided the typical raunchiness associated with bromances. The sex jokes were pushed onto the female side characters, and the two male protagonists discussed topics of vulnerability, commitment, love. It was an interesting twist.
Right now I'm constructing a Beeker costume for my APRIL 25TH VISIT TO INDIANA!!! I-Bash, Breakfast Club, and maybe even a job interview thrown in for good measure.
This month I get an extra paycheck. While half of this has already been used to purchase my airplane ticket, and a lot will be used on my trip, I still think this means I won't have to worry as much about money this month. In May I've been offered a week of dogsitting. They pay $50 a night. That's essentially another paycheck, this time without expensive travel plans. June I have a gig that's paying 1500 in cash. July I'm done. In other words, money troubles are hopefully finished. At least until this gig ends and I'm jobless.
Speaking of which...if you know of anyone hiring for July. Let me know.
Chelsea's coming this Monday. I've been counting towards this day since January. It will honestly be the highlight of the year. Although it's her birthday while she's here. So...no pressure to show her a good time.
Law/Grad school plans still up in the air. Blech. I'm lazy. I haven't even filed/looked at my tax forms yet.
Patrick's a cockbag. No reason for saying this. I just know he reads regularly.
Hmm. Yeah ok, I think that's the end of the newsfeed.
Oh yeah! Last Friday marks the 15 week countdown until my last day. Tomorrow marks the 90 day countdown. Can you tell I'm excited. Yup. I've loved this experience, love AmeriCorps and all it represents. Hate my program.
Congratulations to ANY Vermonter who wants to get married. 46 more states to go...
The last few weeks have been crazy busy!
The Monday before St. Patrick's day saw my old SR, Kathleen, visiting Charleston with her little sister. We hit the town and I wasn't back in bed until 4 am. It had been a long, long time since I've done something like that. The next morning I had a meeting at 7 am. Yup, 2 hours of sleep. Also, Laila (!) came to visit that next day! She was driving to Myrtle Beach for her spring break from NASA. I got one day of peace after that, but then she stopped by on her way back in. Needless to say I was more than a bit tired, but sleep was not to be had.
Two days later I drove down to southern Georgia to visit my parents on their vacation. They came to Charleston just a few days later and wined and dined me. I finally got to try some of the culinary fare that makes Charleston the greatest American culinary destination, bar none. I've dined in most major American cities, and most of the major western countries. I've experienced escargot in Paris, and Nathan's Franks in NYC. This was the best. I can also now say I've dined in the same restaurant as George Washington once dined. It goes along with my goal of participating in the action for which an historical building was constructed. This is not often possible, but fortunately Charleston is quite an open city for this type of experience. Usually this means worshiping in historic churches, so a restaurant was a nice change of pace.
The last day my parents were here, Brandon and Amber came for a long weekend. I wish the weather was a bit better for their experience, but I'm glad they came nonetheless.
Friday we hit the town, saw an impromptu fashion show, hit all my favorite bars, and then ended up in a strip club at 3 am. I don't remember much at all of the club. I do remember their toilets were surprisingly clean. This is good when you have to hug one for an extended period of time.
Somehow I was the one too drunk to function, but Amber was the person too hungover to do anything the next day.
We saw I Love You, Man. Typical comedy, but Paul Rudd's performance is remarkable. You don't expect much dedication towards craft in a comedy like that, but...really he did a good job. It was also inte
resting that the comedy avoided the typical raunchiness associated with bromances. The sex jokes were pushed onto the female side characters, and the two male protagonists discussed topics of vulnerability, commitment, love. It was an interesting twist.Right now I'm constructing a Beeker costume for my APRIL 25TH VISIT TO INDIANA!!! I-Bash, Breakfast Club, and maybe even a job interview thrown in for good measure.
This month I get an extra paycheck. While half of this has already been used to purchase my airplane ticket, and a lot will be used on my trip, I still think this means I won't have to worry as much about money this month. In May I've been offered a week of dogsitting. They pay $50 a night. That's essentially another paycheck, this time without expensive travel plans. June I have a gig that's paying 1500 in cash. July I'm done. In other words, money troubles are hopefully finished. At least until this gig ends and I'm jobless.
Speaking of which...if you know of anyone hiring for July. Let me know.
Chelsea's coming this Monday. I've been counting towards this day since January. It will honestly be the highlight of the year. Although it's her birthday while she's here. So...no pressure to show her a good time.
Law/Grad school plans still up in the air. Blech. I'm lazy. I haven't even filed/looked at my tax forms yet.
Patrick's a cockbag. No reason for saying this. I just know he reads regularly.
Hmm. Yeah ok, I think that's the end of the newsfeed.
Oh yeah! Last Friday marks the 15 week countdown until my last day. Tomorrow marks the 90 day countdown. Can you tell I'm excited. Yup. I've loved this experience, love AmeriCorps and all it represents. Hate my program.
Congratulations to ANY Vermonter who wants to get married. 46 more states to go...
Friday, March 13, 2009
Reflections
I had to explain my mugging story to a group of acquaintances this past weekend. Almost every time I repeat my story, I very strategically leave out the fact that the two muggers were black. In the south, the assumption is already there, and I don't like to feed the stereotype. To be fair, I would say percentage wise, most of the semi-violent crimes in this area, in fact, committed by African Americans. That is a simple matter of statistics and can't really be disputed. What I have a problem with is that I feel many people believe that that demographic holds the majority of crimes because they are black. Even the most proudly tolerant individual will sometimes show this great depth of ignorance when it comes to racial matters. If asked, I'm sure they would say that they view all people as equal, not even recognizing that their belief in an inherent inclination towards crime is, by all means, prejudice and racist. In the South (elsewhere too, but especially here) the black neighborhoods are the poorest neighborhoods. This issue of class, of poor income distribution, is colored by race, and so in the eyes of onlookers removed intellectually and physically from these class problems, become one and the same. Go to southern Indiana, however, and these same crimes are being committed, just by poor white people.
There also seems to be a misunderstanding about the ramifications of having a black President. This misunderstanding is not limited to the South by any means, and I think has been exhibited by the media and citizenry alike. Having a black President does not mean that issues of racial inequity are now solved. This may sound like an obvious statement, but there have been numerous times that I have found people have a general attitude of "We have a black President now? Well *dusts off hands* that's that for race problems!" Ignoring, or perhaps just ignorant of, the systemic and systematic (not necessarily purposefully so as some would have you believe) stacking of odds against African Americans. Thomas Friedman even declared, one day after the 2008 elections, that "The Civil War is finally over." Implying, of course, that race problems in America are finished, and we can finally move on. I'm truly afraid that white people who have long been on the side of greater racial equality, yet may only have a tertiary commitment (I'm not judging them--I would largely include myself in this category) will adopt this view and perhaps believe their work is done.
This ignorance of the ramifications of Obama's presidency was made shockingly clear to me while I was telling my story at the cookout. One of my acquaintances there questioned me two or three times over the color of the muggers. Finally I told her that, yes, they were indeed black. Her response? "I just thought they would stop doing things like this now that Obama is President" [emphasis added]. This view on race was absolutely flabbergasting. To believe that crime among African Americans has rested solely on their political disenfranchisement; that every black person should now be compelled to live the straight and narrow; and to ignore the fact that 220 years of White presidents have not stopped white people from committing crimes. To do all of this in that one simple sentence blew my mind. Can people really be this ignorant? Can someone really have that clean cut view of the world, and to expect such easy fixes? If we have a latino president, will immigration issues stop? What about a lesbian president? Will they finally stop bothering us with all those requests for basic human rights?
What bothered me even more, is that this phrase was uttered by an extremely intelligent woman, on the verge of graduating from a well respect liberal arts institution. A person with a blessed upbringing. I've always believed that intelligence lies in one's ability to self-educate--to be able to intuit the complexity of a situation, to use past experiences and apply them to new, alien situations, and to have a natural thirst to learn more. If this woman, who is by all means incredibly intelligent, can hold such damn ignorant views, how are we to change the view of an entire people?
--------------------
Once I started thinking about the situation of my two muggers, I actually felt pity more than anything else for them. THat is not to say that I don't feel they got what they deserved--they were predators and I'm glad that they aren't on the streets. It's just that...they were both young, both with previous records. Keep in mind that your juvenile record is erased when you turn 18, so their record has been created in a very short time. Now I doubt they were perfect angels until the day they became a legal adult and suddenly turned to a life of crime. No, they most likely had a juvenile record as well, probably extending back quite far. One was from a foster home, and had a string of homes up and down the coast. Furthermore, their places of residence were listed in a very poor part of town. Both were unemployed.
These two would have a hard time finding employment anyway. The argument can be made that they have brought this upon themselves--that they chose to commit crimes after becoming adults, and to a large degree that is true. However, how employable is one person who has completed high school in juvenile detention, and one who never has been in one school more than a few months at a time? One pays for one's sins, but how just is it when those sins have roots stretching back to mere childhood?
As this economy worsens, as our society takes on more and more aspects of a true depression, how many more of these cases will we see? Everyone has to eat. If you think you are above stealing to satisfy that urge, you've never been truly hungry.
This afternoon, 3 houses across the street put up "For Sale" signs. Two were "For Sale By Owner." Even realtors won't touch the market anymore.
One interesting aspect of this recession/depression for this area. Poverty will no longer be limited to African Americans. Perhaps the next few years can change just a few attitudes.
We'll see.
There also seems to be a misunderstanding about the ramifications of having a black President. This misunderstanding is not limited to the South by any means, and I think has been exhibited by the media and citizenry alike. Having a black President does not mean that issues of racial inequity are now solved. This may sound like an obvious statement, but there have been numerous times that I have found people have a general attitude of "We have a black President now? Well *dusts off hands* that's that for race problems!" Ignoring, or perhaps just ignorant of, the systemic and systematic (not necessarily purposefully so as some would have you believe) stacking of odds against African Americans. Thomas Friedman even declared, one day after the 2008 elections, that "The Civil War is finally over." Implying, of course, that race problems in America are finished, and we can finally move on. I'm truly afraid that white people who have long been on the side of greater racial equality, yet may only have a tertiary commitment (I'm not judging them--I would largely include myself in this category) will adopt this view and perhaps believe their work is done.
This ignorance of the ramifications of Obama's presidency was made shockingly clear to me while I was telling my story at the cookout. One of my acquaintances there questioned me two or three times over the color of the muggers. Finally I told her that, yes, they were indeed black. Her response? "I just thought they would stop doing things like this now that Obama is President" [emphasis added]. This view on race was absolutely flabbergasting. To believe that crime among African Americans has rested solely on their political disenfranchisement; that every black person should now be compelled to live the straight and narrow; and to ignore the fact that 220 years of White presidents have not stopped white people from committing crimes. To do all of this in that one simple sentence blew my mind. Can people really be this ignorant? Can someone really have that clean cut view of the world, and to expect such easy fixes? If we have a latino president, will immigration issues stop? What about a lesbian president? Will they finally stop bothering us with all those requests for basic human rights?
What bothered me even more, is that this phrase was uttered by an extremely intelligent woman, on the verge of graduating from a well respect liberal arts institution. A person with a blessed upbringing. I've always believed that intelligence lies in one's ability to self-educate--to be able to intuit the complexity of a situation, to use past experiences and apply them to new, alien situations, and to have a natural thirst to learn more. If this woman, who is by all means incredibly intelligent, can hold such damn ignorant views, how are we to change the view of an entire people?
--------------------
Once I started thinking about the situation of my two muggers, I actually felt pity more than anything else for them. THat is not to say that I don't feel they got what they deserved--they were predators and I'm glad that they aren't on the streets. It's just that...they were both young, both with previous records. Keep in mind that your juvenile record is erased when you turn 18, so their record has been created in a very short time. Now I doubt they were perfect angels until the day they became a legal adult and suddenly turned to a life of crime. No, they most likely had a juvenile record as well, probably extending back quite far. One was from a foster home, and had a string of homes up and down the coast. Furthermore, their places of residence were listed in a very poor part of town. Both were unemployed.
These two would have a hard time finding employment anyway. The argument can be made that they have brought this upon themselves--that they chose to commit crimes after becoming adults, and to a large degree that is true. However, how employable is one person who has completed high school in juvenile detention, and one who never has been in one school more than a few months at a time? One pays for one's sins, but how just is it when those sins have roots stretching back to mere childhood?
As this economy worsens, as our society takes on more and more aspects of a true depression, how many more of these cases will we see? Everyone has to eat. If you think you are above stealing to satisfy that urge, you've never been truly hungry.
This afternoon, 3 houses across the street put up "For Sale" signs. Two were "For Sale By Owner." Even realtors won't touch the market anymore.
One interesting aspect of this recession/depression for this area. Poverty will no longer be limited to African Americans. Perhaps the next few years can change just a few attitudes.
We'll see.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
No one fucks with my food stamps.
Ok, so many people want to know about my mugging experience. Yes, I did get mugged. No, I'm not hurt, except for a bruise and cut under my eye, and a few slightly loose teeth that I'm told will firm back up in a few days.
How it happened.
So there I was, knee deep. I had decided that since the weather was a beautiful 72 degrees, low humidity, I would go for an extended bike ride. There is a quite nice bike trail that runs for about 10 miles near the edge of Charleston. At about mile 7, 2 men stopped me to ask me a question. When I asked them to repeat their question, they started punching me while yelling "Give me your money." One of them, who I later found out was named Marcus, grabbed my back pack. The other--something with a "J" whom we'll call James, grabbed my wallet and took off.
Now you know how you're supposed to have a "flight-or-fight" response? I have neither. I have a "Stare blankly questioning if you are really getting mugged on a fucking bike trail?" response. Once I kind of woke up, I realized that they had my damn wallet and backpack! There was no way I wasn't getting them back. I took off after them. Not on my bike, mind you. No, that would've been intelligent. I took off on foot after them. It was good that I did decide to go after them, as about a quarter of a mile later there was a woman by herself coming up the trail. I believe if I hadn't been chasing after the two muggers, that woman probably would've been next.
After a little bit of running, the two assholes dropped my backpack and wallet. I looked inside and notice my cellphone was gone, as was everything in the cash pocket of my wallet, and one of my credit cards. Here's how poor of a choice these two made in mugging me. The cash in my wallet totaled $1. The credit card they grabbed? It was my food stamps card that: a. needed a passcode to use, and b. only had $6 on it. They really chose the wrong person to rob. However, they did have my cell phone (which I may add, didn't have a sim card, and hence also useless).
Back to the chase. Yeah they still have my cell phone, so I'm still running after them. Up ahead there are 3 men on bikes coming up the trail towards us. When the two muggers see this, they take off across the yards of a housing complex next to the trail. I stop the 3 bikers, and start explaining what happened. As soon as I said "mugged," one of the men I stopped took off after them on his bike. It turns out he was a retired cop. One of the other men is a district attorney. He called dispatch and got a squad car to come out pronto. Ten minutes later, both perps are sitting in the back of a squad car, and I'm writing down my statement.
One of the offenders, Marcus, had an outstanding warrant for armed robbery. So maybe it was a bad idea to chase after him. The other guy, James? He had gotten out of jail the day before.
Considering the warrant and probation status of both of them, it looks like they won't be getting a slap on the wrist, but a pretty harsh sentence. The bond hearing was this morning. It was set at $40,000 in cash, which neither will have.
And that's that! I never got my food stamps card back, and sometime during the chase my camera fell out of my backpack. That camera had all my inauguration pictures, so I'm a little sad about that. However, I'm safe, have my money and phone, and a good story. So all is well :).
How it happened.
So there I was, knee deep. I had decided that since the weather was a beautiful 72 degrees, low humidity, I would go for an extended bike ride. There is a quite nice bike trail that runs for about 10 miles near the edge of Charleston. At about mile 7, 2 men stopped me to ask me a question. When I asked them to repeat their question, they started punching me while yelling "Give me your money." One of them, who I later found out was named Marcus, grabbed my back pack. The other--something with a "J" whom we'll call James, grabbed my wallet and took off.
Now you know how you're supposed to have a "flight-or-fight" response? I have neither. I have a "Stare blankly questioning if you are really getting mugged on a fucking bike trail?" response. Once I kind of woke up, I realized that they had my damn wallet and backpack! There was no way I wasn't getting them back. I took off after them. Not on my bike, mind you. No, that would've been intelligent. I took off on foot after them. It was good that I did decide to go after them, as about a quarter of a mile later there was a woman by herself coming up the trail. I believe if I hadn't been chasing after the two muggers, that woman probably would've been next.
After a little bit of running, the two assholes dropped my backpack and wallet. I looked inside and notice my cellphone was gone, as was everything in the cash pocket of my wallet, and one of my credit cards. Here's how poor of a choice these two made in mugging me. The cash in my wallet totaled $1. The credit card they grabbed? It was my food stamps card that: a. needed a passcode to use, and b. only had $6 on it. They really chose the wrong person to rob. However, they did have my cell phone (which I may add, didn't have a sim card, and hence also useless).
Back to the chase. Yeah they still have my cell phone, so I'm still running after them. Up ahead there are 3 men on bikes coming up the trail towards us. When the two muggers see this, they take off across the yards of a housing complex next to the trail. I stop the 3 bikers, and start explaining what happened. As soon as I said "mugged," one of the men I stopped took off after them on his bike. It turns out he was a retired cop. One of the other men is a district attorney. He called dispatch and got a squad car to come out pronto. Ten minutes later, both perps are sitting in the back of a squad car, and I'm writing down my statement.
One of the offenders, Marcus, had an outstanding warrant for armed robbery. So maybe it was a bad idea to chase after him. The other guy, James? He had gotten out of jail the day before.
Considering the warrant and probation status of both of them, it looks like they won't be getting a slap on the wrist, but a pretty harsh sentence. The bond hearing was this morning. It was set at $40,000 in cash, which neither will have.
And that's that! I never got my food stamps card back, and sometime during the chase my camera fell out of my backpack. That camera had all my inauguration pictures, so I'm a little sad about that. However, I'm safe, have my money and phone, and a good story. So all is well :).
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ on a Tofu Cracker
I was right.
I was right!!!
Yesterday, exactly 1 week after receiving the most badass birthday gift ever (zombies), a construction site was shut down across the street from my office when--get this--construction workers fell from ladders after feeling mysteriously faint and queasy. Then today the entire staff of a whole building called in sick. Why were they sick? Probably because a coworker bit them all sometime last week and now they have a craving for brains!
Ok, so you know how there are facebook groups devoted to "The hardest part of the zombie invasion will be pretending I'm not excited" and other such phrases? Well I used to laugh, but not believe! I'm really fucking excited now!
As I walk on campus between buildings, I see all these students I pass and think "What if I had to run through these without being bitten in order to save someone on the other side? How would I do it?"
I also think "I could take her out, take her out, maybe him, him...I would avoid him, easy, hard, has weak knees" and so on, and so on. Also, due to the fact that I have not made any really close connections here, I would have no hesitation in taking out anyone here with, say, a lawn mower or centuries old shot gun. If its for the good of the nation, nay world, then so be it. None of that emotional/moral crisis that occurs in the zombie movies. Do you know why William "B.J." Blazkowicz had no problem escaping the wolfenstein castle? Because he had no mercy. He didn't have to worry if this person was a good person in life, because he knew they were all nazi zombies. What I'm saying is, to me most of the time, Charleston Residents = Nazi Zombies.
Man, I hope it stays cold to slow down their undead metabolism. I may be itching for a fight, but I want the odds on my side.
I was right!!!
Yesterday, exactly 1 week after receiving the most badass birthday gift ever (zombies), a construction site was shut down across the street from my office when--get this--construction workers fell from ladders after feeling mysteriously faint and queasy. Then today the entire staff of a whole building called in sick. Why were they sick? Probably because a coworker bit them all sometime last week and now they have a craving for brains!
Ok, so you know how there are facebook groups devoted to "The hardest part of the zombie invasion will be pretending I'm not excited" and other such phrases? Well I used to laugh, but not believe! I'm really fucking excited now!
As I walk on campus between buildings, I see all these students I pass and think "What if I had to run through these without being bitten in order to save someone on the other side? How would I do it?"
I also think "I could take her out, take her out, maybe him, him...I would avoid him, easy, hard, has weak knees" and so on, and so on. Also, due to the fact that I have not made any really close connections here, I would have no hesitation in taking out anyone here with, say, a lawn mower or centuries old shot gun. If its for the good of the nation, nay world, then so be it. None of that emotional/moral crisis that occurs in the zombie movies. Do you know why William "B.J." Blazkowicz had no problem escaping the wolfenstein castle? Because he had no mercy. He didn't have to worry if this person was a good person in life, because he knew they were all nazi zombies. What I'm saying is, to me most of the time, Charleston Residents = Nazi Zombies.
Man, I hope it stays cold to slow down their undead metabolism. I may be itching for a fight, but I want the odds on my side.
Monday, February 2, 2009
The procrastination of fear.
So I was at the inauguration. Most people know this.
I need to write about it.
In East Africa right now, the already tragic state of Somalia is going through yet again some really tough changes. With a new President and a new Secretary of State, I really want to write a series of articles detailing changes in US Policy, and what this means to the horn of Africa.
I haven't started either of these for over 15 days.
Why?
The only one grading them will be me. There are no parameters set except for my own. I think I'm a much harsher critic than any professor was.
Inauguration post coming very soon. I hope.
I need to write about it.
In East Africa right now, the already tragic state of Somalia is going through yet again some really tough changes. With a new President and a new Secretary of State, I really want to write a series of articles detailing changes in US Policy, and what this means to the horn of Africa.
I haven't started either of these for over 15 days.
Why?
The only one grading them will be me. There are no parameters set except for my own. I think I'm a much harsher critic than any professor was.
Inauguration post coming very soon. I hope.
Best. Birthday. Ever.
It's January in Charleston.
Think of it as April in the rest of the nation. Days are a crapshoot of rain, sun, "cold," and hot. Tomorrow there is a chance of snow; today was a high of 65. This weather kind of plays havoc with physical health, emotions, and your energy levels.
On top of this I'm looking at finding a new job in 5 months with an economy that's not just circling the drain, but is finding it's way out to the ocean through the myriad of sewage pipes that is our financial system. Unemployment for my age demographic is at 34% now.
Then, this past Wednesday, I turned 24. I have always said 24 was an important age. 21 - 23 is the final huzzah of true youth--that is wise enough to be an adult, but young enough to not be weighed down by responsibilities.
24 though...that's a new level of oldness.
On top of all this, Thursday (the day after my birthday) is the biggest project for my office of the entire year, so I'm not really going to be able to live it up.
My birthday is going to suck, right?
Not when you receive the greatest birthday gift ever conceived by man.
So there I was. Knee Deep. I'm driving to work, and within the first 2 miles I have to stop 3 times for firetrucks and ambulances. Not just a normal stoppage either--you know when you pull over to the side while they pass. No these trucks are straight out reckless in their drive to the ocean.
I get on the bridge to Charleston, and all sorts of sirens are coming at me. Now, each island and peninsula in the Greater Charleston Area has their own emergency services. If they are coming over the bridge, this is more than a 5 alarm emergency. This is an all hands on deck, shit is going down situation.
Let me set the scene now:
I'm sitting in traffic listening to the radio. The DJ comes on.
"And that was Mott the Hoople with a CLASSIC tune. Tell me, does anyone know what's going on over on folly beach? Police won't release a statement, and no visitors are allowed in. I'll tell you what. Free concert tickets to the Ravenettes for the first caller to tell me the 411. Now here's traffic."
And I switch stations. Perfect move.
At work we hear sirens go by for 3 full hours. The mystery is deepening.
On my lunch our I have to go deliver some mail. I come out the front door of the office, and what do I see but a line of white vans and trucks, with a weird company name on the side. It was like "EcoCom--Making the Future Now" or some crazy bullshit motto like that. I didn't have my pictures, but the internets provided me with this great mockup:
That's when it clicked. A mysterious occurence on the beach, sirens galore, police remaining mum and shutting down eyes, and a badass futuristic company fleet. Do I have to spell it out?
ZOMBIES!!!!
Name one movie that doesn't start with this exact same circumstance?! And it's been almost a week! It always starts slow and just infects a few people. Next thing you know half the city is gone! I haven't seen my roommates in 3 days, and last time I did one of them was really tired! Fuck!
I'm going to get my baseball bat.
Greatest Birthday Ever!
Think of it as April in the rest of the nation. Days are a crapshoot of rain, sun, "cold," and hot. Tomorrow there is a chance of snow; today was a high of 65. This weather kind of plays havoc with physical health, emotions, and your energy levels.
On top of this I'm looking at finding a new job in 5 months with an economy that's not just circling the drain, but is finding it's way out to the ocean through the myriad of sewage pipes that is our financial system. Unemployment for my age demographic is at 34% now.
Then, this past Wednesday, I turned 24. I have always said 24 was an important age. 21 - 23 is the final huzzah of true youth--that is wise enough to be an adult, but young enough to not be weighed down by responsibilities.
24 though...that's a new level of oldness.
On top of all this, Thursday (the day after my birthday) is the biggest project for my office of the entire year, so I'm not really going to be able to live it up.
My birthday is going to suck, right?
Not when you receive the greatest birthday gift ever conceived by man.
So there I was. Knee Deep. I'm driving to work, and within the first 2 miles I have to stop 3 times for firetrucks and ambulances. Not just a normal stoppage either--you know when you pull over to the side while they pass. No these trucks are straight out reckless in their drive to the ocean.
I get on the bridge to Charleston, and all sorts of sirens are coming at me. Now, each island and peninsula in the Greater Charleston Area has their own emergency services. If they are coming over the bridge, this is more than a 5 alarm emergency. This is an all hands on deck, shit is going down situation.
Let me set the scene now:
I'm sitting in traffic listening to the radio. The DJ comes on.
"And that was Mott the Hoople with a CLASSIC tune. Tell me, does anyone know what's going on over on folly beach? Police won't release a statement, and no visitors are allowed in. I'll tell you what. Free concert tickets to the Ravenettes for the first caller to tell me the 411. Now here's traffic."
And I switch stations. Perfect move.
At work we hear sirens go by for 3 full hours. The mystery is deepening.
On my lunch our I have to go deliver some mail. I come out the front door of the office, and what do I see but a line of white vans and trucks, with a weird company name on the side. It was like "EcoCom--Making the Future Now" or some crazy bullshit motto like that. I didn't have my pictures, but the internets provided me with this great mockup:
That's when it clicked. A mysterious occurence on the beach, sirens galore, police remaining mum and shutting down eyes, and a badass futuristic company fleet. Do I have to spell it out?
ZOMBIES!!!!
Name one movie that doesn't start with this exact same circumstance?! And it's been almost a week! It always starts slow and just infects a few people. Next thing you know half the city is gone! I haven't seen my roommates in 3 days, and last time I did one of them was really tired! Fuck!
I'm going to get my baseball bat.
Greatest Birthday Ever!
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